life!!!

I'm exhausted! I feel like there's no one I can trust beside yue when I'm here. If I was having bad mood, I would choose not to let anyone know. Even tough I have a cousin here but when I was at his house, he would put his anger on me. Let me feel like there was no place that I can stay when I need a break. I found a really cruel thing, it is when someone needs your help or when they have nothing to do, it is the only time they will look for you. I really hate this kind of feeling cause I choose to trust everyone but what I got return is something like when they wanted to find me then only they will talk to me. But when I was alone, there were no one with me. I treat everyone good, what I have, I will share. Will think of them when I went shopping or whenever I saw something that I think suits them I will buy it. I will choose to be happy in front of everyone because I don't want my friends to think that I'm always moody. That's all. Doesn't mean that I'm really happy; just want to see everyone is laughing when I'm talking or when they are playing with me. Another thing is I hate people saying back the things that I had done before. I done it before is just my thinking not mature enough, doesn't means that I'm still like before. I have changed! But no ones notice about it, people will just remember the things that I had done before and keep on saying about it. Not really keep on saying but when someone says about it, I will really feel sad. I know I should not do that but everyone is learning and growing up while they do something wrong. I had learned my lesson but seems like it is nothing for everyone. Cruel world! Hate this place a lot; it gave me a lot of sad and unhappy memories. Make me miss my schoolmates and the memories we had before. Good luck guys, I know you guys maybe will also face the same problem as me. But we have to be tougher while we are studying in college and university. Hope that we can meet as soon as possible. I know I'm just a clown in front of you guys; you guys are the best for me. I found out something, it is hard for us to make a friend that you can share your entire secret when in college or university. Maybe the best time for us to make best friend that can share secret only when in primary or secondary school.